no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
— Rachel Wiley (via perfect)
[echoes of eleven blowing up cybermen to get information in the distance]
People who don’t love Nine are the dumbest.
Reasons not to go outside:
- Poison ivy
- Quick sand
- The plague
- Large bugs
- Men with pointy teeth
- I’ll say no more. I’ll just upset you.
i find it interesting that when it comes to liking girls I’m just like GIRLS ALL GIRLS YES PERFECT GIRLS but with boys i’m like you must fit criteria 1-9 but 9 is optional only if you completely fill criteria 10-13 with a non-optional essay on 21st century sexism due by 5am
VIRGINIA JUST LEGALIZED GAY MARRIAGE FIRST STATE IN THE SOUTH 30 MINUTES AGO HELL FUCKIN YEA TURN THE FUCK UP IN THIS STATE FUNCTION
when you’re proven wrong and you were really sure you were right
did he jus get knocked out by his titties
- A. WHY MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED.
- B. FAVORITE BAND.
- C. WHO I LIKE AND WHY I LIKE THEM.
- D. HARDEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
- E. MY BEST FRIEND.
- F. MY FAVOURITE MOVIE.
- G. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
- H. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?
- I. HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
- J. WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GET OLDER.
- K. RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS.
- L. ONE OF MY INSECURITIES.
- M. VIRGIN OR NOT?
- N. FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP AT?
- O. MY EYE COLOUR.
- P. WHY I HATE SCHOOL.
- Q. RELATIONSHIP STATUS AS OF RIGHT NOW.
- R. FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT.
- S. A RANDOM FACT ABOUT MYSELF.
- T. AGE I GET MISTAKEN FOR.
- U. WHERE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.
- V. LAST TIME I CRIED.
- W. CONCERTS I’VE BEEN TO.
- X. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF (…)?
- Y. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE?
- Z. HOW ARE YOU?